Smash Cut

A movie mash-up that could happen, er, “Only In My Dreams” is ready to chomp up home theaters in the form of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. What’s it about? Read the title! Need to know more? It stars brooding, would-be tough guy Lorenzo Lamas, former pop wonder Deborah Gibson, and a slew of not-so-special-yet-thoroughly-enjoyable creature effects.

Don’t believe me? Feast on the tasty trailer below.

Whoa, McFly!

Beloved author Roald Dahl always had a slightly sinister sense of humor, and one can’t help but wonder what Charlie and the Chocolate Factory would’ve been like if the eccentric confectioner had been a little less wonky and a cut more nasty.

Well, wonder no longer! Over at the humor website Funny or Die, there’s a hilariously brilliant parody trailer for a phony slasher pic called Gobstopper. The preview features a demonic Willy Wonka taking on some bratty teenagers in pure genre-consistent style. In a bit of casting genius, none other than Christopher Lloyd — Dr. Emmet Brown himself — plays the purple-clad psycho.

Check out the trailer here, and visit the Official Gobstopper Website for more deadly treats.

You might not have ever heard of him before, but Hal Ashby was one of the great directors of 1970s Hollywood cinema, right up there, in my opinion, with Francis Ford Coppola, Peter Yates, William Friedkin, Martin Scorsese and Brian De Palma.

Ashby juggled tones and genres like a maestro, and movies like his unforgettable oddball dark comedy Harold and Maude, the star-studded drama Shampoo, or the outrageously funny yet achingly sad The Last Detail seem to come from a wholly unique directorial voice.

One of Ashby’s most acclaimed works is his 1976 biopic of American folk singer Woody Guthrie. Called Bound for Glory, the film chronicled the musician’s Depression-era travels that led him to see America through the suffering yet unwavering eyes of the country’s working class, thus finding inspiration for the now-revered ballads that he would compose. The movie was praised for its evocative depiction of Great Depression-era life and a solid performance from actor David Carradine as Guthrie, and it scored Oscars for its impeccable cinematography and soundtrack.

But if you went to a recent March 18 screening of Bound for Glory that was held by the American Cinematheque in California, then you must’ve witnessed a post-screening Q&A that would’ve made all that praise seem like it was for a totally different movie. Star Carradine and director of photography Haskell Wexler pretty much went at each other during the whole thing, flinging allegations of cocaine abuse, backhanded compliments, full-on insults, questions of authorship, and maintaining a general mood of unending animosity. (Co-star Ronny Cox was on-stage too, but apparently couldn’t get many words in during the fracas.)

Some gems:

Wexler: “I went to Hal and I said ‘Hal, just take a minute and STOP SNIFFING THAT STUFF UP YOUR NOSE!’”

Carradine: “Haskell is a little down on people who snort cocaine…And yes, Hal was a great user of cocaine. It does not change the fact that he was…Quentin Tarantino doesn’t beat Hal Ashby, and he’s one of my favorite directors. Quentin is incredible. And he’s a big cocaine freak, too!”

Carradine: “We had this incredible guy… Do you remember the name of the guy that was the handheld camera guy, that used the suitcase camera?”

Wexler: “Do I remember it? How do you think it got in this film, David? Who do you think planned it? Who did the shots? Look it, David, you fuckin’…”

Carradine: “Somebody will talk to me about Haskell and I’ll say ‘Oh yeah, he’s the guy who got an Academy Award for ruining my picture.’”

For the full story — and I highly recommend you check it out, even if you don’t know the film or any of these key players — go to writer Chris Willman’s blog entry about the evening on the Huffington Post.

Back in the days when George Lucas actually made enjoyable movies, he invited director Steven Spielberg and writer Lawrence Kasdan over to have a little discussion. The focus of the meeting was to come up with a screenplay centered around an rugged archaeologist, one that would be almost like a globe-trotting samurai with a whip instead of a sword. He’d come face-to-face with Nazis and other nefarious evil-doers in a breakneck adventure to uncover a legendary holy relic that’s reputed to bring its bearers power of unfathomable proportions: the Ark of the Covenant.

We all know that this story would become the basis of 1981’s unforgettable action classic Raiders of the Lost Ark. But even before the trio even dreamed up the name of Indiana Jones or thought about having Harrison Ford fill his shoes, they had a conference so that ideas could be bandied about, plot points ironed or abandoned, and characters envisioned in a non-stop volley.

That meeting was a gathering of three creators who, at the time, were at the top of their creative game, and we’re lucky that someone actually transcribed the conference, which is now available for our edification, reading pleasure, or plain old satisfaction of curiosity. If you’d like to have a window into the event that led to an unforgettable film and a truly iconic character, go here to download the transcript. It’s about 6MB in size, in pdf format. While it lasts, folks!

I know, I know. At this point I figure we’re all completely O.D.’ed on that Obama-zation aesthetic created by Obey designer Shepard Fairey, regardless of party affiliation.

But…this is cool, isn’t it? I mean, even if you don’t like the Transformers it’s pretty badass, not to mention clever.

This graphic was designed by artist Tim Doyle of the ultra-hip (with a nerdy spin) Nakatomi Inc. It was available for a short time in a nice, big, pretty print, but not surprisingly all of those sold out in a flash. So if you wanna show your love for change via Optimus Prime, then go here and buy the sticker version while it lasts.

And while you’re there, take a look at the other unique movie-themed prints from Nakatomi. Times may be economically tough, but there’s no excuse not to tempt yourself a bit….

Are you sick of seeing those ludicrously-overproduced, hyper-slick, celeb-fronted, totally-nonsensical fragrance commercials that basically hawk perfumes without ever letting you know anything about the scent itself?

Well, critically-acclaimed, forever-on-the-lam director Roman Polanski must’ve been fed up with them too, because he’s made a short film (along with artist Francesco Vezzoli) that ridicules those kinds of all-out-hype media that force-feed luxury items down the gullets of the masses. Under the not-so-subtle title of “Greed,” the faux-fragrance commercial features thesp lovelies Michelle Williams and Natalie Portman trading punches when the heady scent of a perfume (guess what its name is, kids) sends them over the edge.

The parody was premiered back on Feb. 6 at the Gagosian Gallery in Rome, but you can watch the entire “Greed” short here, courtesy of Dazed Digital.

Hail, I tell you!

Quintessential American weirdo David Lynch has been making films that have gotten increasingly more idiosyncratic and, in my opinion, kinda pointless, during the past few years. But I have to admit that those initial, visceral reactions that I had to works like Eraserhead and Blue Velvet and, yes, even Dune, have lingered with me to such an extent that I still try to check out anything that he chooses to affiliate himself with.

Thus, it’s with great…I dunno…curiosity…that I share the 9-minute short film The Soul Detective. Lynch (that’s him on the right) isn’t the director — Brazilian Davi de Oliveira Pinheiro (that’s him on the left) is credited with that task — but the American auteur does “star” in it courtesy of some quasi-experimental-style editing going on within the narrative.

What’s it about? Well, go here and judge for yourself, but the official synopsis, courtesy of the collective called Think Tank (of which Davi de Oliveira Pinheiro is a member) is as follows:

A detective enters a train car were he finds different manifestations of a force that haunts the place. Using his telepathic powers he tries to enter the mind of a recently deceased man before all his memories vanish.

Watch The Soul Detective here.

Are you pretty much sick of what seems to be the complete lack of thought/creativity in the cogs and wheels of Hollywood’s marketing machinery? Trailers seem to show everything — the entire flick, sometimes even the penultimate shot gosh-darn-it — and posters are often lame star vehicles, often resorting to a boring floating head/collage aesthetic. Can you snore “Zzzzzzzzz….” with me?

One country that never, ever, churns out predictable promotional art is Poland. Say what you will about the final results — inaccurate, confusing, off-target, too surreal — you can bet that the concept is wildly different, or even clever (such as the poster for the 1986 sci-fi creature feature Critters above). Check out the excellent gallery of fifty Polish movie posters over at WellMedicated if you don’t believe me.

WellMedicated’s “50 Incredible Film Posters from Poland” Gallery