Smash Cut

Hong Kong cinema pretty much makes a “kung fu” version of everything: Kung Fu Dunk (that’s kung fu + basketball, natch), Kung Fu Mahjong, and even Kung Fu Cannibals (a.k.a. We Are Going To Eat You).

It’s pretty obvious, then, that you can blend the dual disciplines of martial arts and cooking (well, amongst many others, Stephen Chow already has already done it with great results in the brilliant 1996 comedy God of Cookery), so lo and behold, here comes Kung Fu Chefs.

Normally, I probably wouldn’t get too amped up about such an (ahem) half-baked idea, but the star of this puppy is none other that Jackie Chan colleague/classmate Sammo Hung, a talent who may be twice Chan’s physical size, but is equally adept in martial arts skills.

The plot of Kung Fu Chefs is pretty standard stuff: good underdog cooks of a run-down but genuinely tasty restaurant face off against the nefarious chi-chi staff of a high-end joint. But the trailer still plays like gangbusters.

Check out the unsubtitled, Mandarin preview over here.

The late Polish author Stanislaw Lem is one of those legendary, brainy sci-fi writers that filmmakers find themselves attracted to because of his atmospheric descriptions and trippy themes, but rarely ever try to tackle cinematically because of the sheer narrative and stylistic magnitude of such a task. The most famous work of his is arguably the alien planet psychodrama Solaris, which has been adapted twice, once in 1972 by visionary Russian auteur Andrei Tarkovsky, and another time 30 years later by director Steven Soderbergh and star George Clooney.

Now, a helmer by the name of Pater Sparrow has made a Hungarian production based on Lem’s novel, One Human Minute. Simply called 1, Yarrow’s film details the mysterious events that follow the appearance of a strange text (an author/publisher-less tome bearing only the title 1, of course) in a rare-book shop that reveals the fate of humanity within the equivalent of a one-minute time span.

A stylish, beautiful, English-language official website has just gone live to promote the movie, and — even better — you can find a subtitled trailer there too. Fans of thought-provoking sci-fi unite!

Are you pretty much sick of what seems to be the complete lack of thought/creativity in the cogs and wheels of Hollywood’s marketing machinery? Trailers seem to show everything — the entire flick, sometimes even the penultimate shot gosh-darn-it — and posters are often lame star vehicles, often resorting to a boring floating head/collage aesthetic. Can you snore “Zzzzzzzzz….” with me?

One country that never, ever, churns out predictable promotional art is Poland. Say what you will about the final results — inaccurate, confusing, off-target, too surreal — you can bet that the concept is wildly different, or even clever (such as the poster for the 1986 sci-fi creature feature Critters above). Check out the excellent gallery of fifty Polish movie posters over at WellMedicated if you don’t believe me.

WellMedicated’s “50 Incredible Film Posters from Poland” Gallery

These days, it seems like I keep posting updates to earlier entries, but I just can’t help it. When new material pops up that kicks my ass all over the place, I guess I feel like I’ve gotta share it.

I’ve raved before about the French dystopian-future/action sequel Banlieue 13 - Ultimatum, which reunites the phenomenal parkour talents Cyril Raffaelli and David Belle.

Well, it seems that a new full-length, unsubtitled trailer has made its way into cyberspace and it’s even more spectacular than the initial teaser.

Check it out:

The new film takes place two years after the first, with cop Damien (Raffaelli) and good-hearted ex-con Leito (Belle) once again joining forces, this time to unite the five warring ethnic neighborhoods of the titular banlieue #13 inner city region. Their common foe: an ever-more unjust and powerful secret service in the right-wing government regime, which is exerting increasingly deadly force to crush the underclass.

B13 - Ultimatum is slated for a February 18 opening in France. Let’s hope it scores some States-side distribution like its predecessor. You can visit the updated official website too, which offers some fascinating production blog entries (at least, I imagine they’re fascinating…I’m not exactly French-fluent) and a neat-o interactive map detailing the film’s setting.

I’ve blogged before about my excitement over the upcoming new visual feast from Japanese wunderkind Kazuaki Kiriya, and now there’s more footage from it to whet my (and your) appetite.

Goemon is his highly anticipated follow-up to the stunning 2004 sci-fi anime come-to-life called Casshern. The latter, in my opinion, had set standards for FX-style filmmaking that have yet to be topped. Granted, it was narratively bloated, but let’s face it: movie sported a lot of eye-popping imagination and more creativity in five minutes than two hours of your usual Hollywood product can provide.

His forthcoming work is an alternate-universe ninja fantasy, and it just got a new unsubtitled trailer which offers more jaw-dropping spectacle than you can shake a stick at.

The official Goemon website is over here.

Click below for the preview, and prepare to be blown away.

Kenichi Matsuyama, the popular star of the phenomenally successful Death Note film series (which is itself a cinematic adaptation of a best-selling manga), has beefed up for his headlining role in Yoichi Sai’s big-screen envisioning of The Legend of Kamui (a.k.a. Kamui Gaiden). Based on the famous manga of the same name by Sanpei Shirato, the movie tells the story of the titular Kamui, a ninja who’s on the run from his former clan, which has sent its toughest warriors after his hide. His marked-for-death status forces him to distrust all whom he encounters, because anyone could potentially keep him from reaching his single, solitary goal: survival.

The Legend of Kamui is wildly popular (it’s appeared in English-translated formats a few times, I think), and it seems like director Sai and star Matsuyama are up to the task of pulling off a solid adaptation.

You can watch the sword-swingin’, unsubtitled teaser, courtesy of Nippon Cinema, or visit the film’s official website. The Legend of Kamui is slated for a September 19, 2009 unveiling in Japan.

Well, what are you waiting for? Here’s what is, perhaps, the best theme song ever. Ever.

Well, Hideo Nakata will show you the way! Or at least offer some advice about how to deal with getting royally screwed but continue to find work. That’s what I imagine this film is all about.

Nakata’s name may ring a bell with some of you, and that’s because he’s the Japanese writer/director responsible for the original 1998 J-Horror trendsetter, Ring (a.k.a. Ringu). Yup, he’s somewhat to blame for spawning every shambling, long-haired, vengeful spirit that’s plagued genre cinema for almost a decade.

Anyway, Nakata did some time in Hollywood when he made The Ring Two, the U.S. sequel to the American remake of the original film (the 1998 one that Nakata helmed in Japan). Follow?

The experience must’ve left Nakata pissed, I guess, or feeling that people should get some kind of advice about dealing with the Tinseltown studio system, so he made a documentary called Foreign Filmmakers’ Guide To Hollywood to do just that. Judging from the credits, there are some pretty interesting interview subjects in the piece, like big-time producer Walter F. Parkes and prolific composer Hans Zimmer.

This doc could be nothing more than a rant, but color me curious. If you’re Japanese-fluent, you can visit the film’s official website (I think) here to stay informed about the Guide’s status.

…and I’m not talking about that God-awful idea of him doing a Mr. Miyagi reboot in the Karate Kid remake or another tired Rush Hour entry either.

You may not realize it, but to this day, Chan has continued to work in his native Hong Kong while cranking out Hollywood product, and it’s great to know that the man hasn’t forgotten his roots. His latest movie, Shinjuku Incident, is directed by acclaimed Chinese filmmaker Derek Yee, and from the looks of the trailer it seems to be a return to the gritty, “ripped from the headlines” storytelling style last seen in Chan’s excellent 1993 kidnapping thriller, Crime Story.

Shinjuku Incident promises to stretch Chan’s acting chops more than his justifiably famous stuntwork. He stars as “Steelhead,” an illegal Chinese immigrant laborer eking out a hardscrabble life in Tokyo. He’s an honest man (natch), but his character and fortitude are tested when pressures from local crimelords force him into ever-more precarious situations.

The movie’s scheduled for an April 2, 2009 release in Hong Kong. Visit the Shinjuku Incident’s official website, or take a look at the English-subtitled trailer.

Dependably looney-tunes Japanese filmmaker Takashi Miike, who’s always worth watching whether he’s in front of the camera or behind it, is going to offer us gaijin a super-rare opportunity to see him in person. His wonky live-action adaptation of the anime hit Yatterman, which I’ve blogged about before, is coming out soon, and the New York Comic Con and Subway Cinema are putting together a very special Big Apple event for all of us, including a Yatterman world premiere!

Here’s the official scoop:

New York Comic Con, Subway Cinema and Nikkatsu Studios are proud to say:

TAKASHI MIIKE IS LOOSE IN NYC!!!

Director Takashi Miike (Audition, Ichi the Killer) and Japanese superstar Sho Sakurai will be a Guest of Honor and a Special Guest (respectively) of the New York Comic Con (Feb. 6 - 8, 2009) where they will present the world premiere of their new movie, Yatterman.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 6 @ 4pm - Takashi Miike & Sho Sakurai will present a special panel on Yatterman and the mysteries of universe at the IGN Theater in the Jacob Javits Convention Center during ComiCon. They will answer questions, show an exclusive clip from the movie and blow your minds. Free for all ComicCon attendees.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 6 @ 8pm - Takashi Miike & Sho Sakurai will present the World Premiere of Yatterman at the Director’s Guild Theater. First they will walk the red carpet, then they will screen the film, then there will be an onstage discussion with Miike and Sakurai about their careers.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 7 @ 8:30pm - Takashi Miike will present an encore presentation of Yatterman at the IGN Theater in the Jacob Javits Convention Center that is free for all Comic Con attendees. We’ve got lots of room, Miike will be in fine form, so come on down!

Passes to the DGA event on Friday night will be distributed at the Nikkatsu Booth (#1315) at Comic Con. Tickets to the DGA event will be available to Comic Con attendees, special guests, and invited public via the Subway Cinema newsletter.

Yatterman is Nikkatsu’s massive special effects blockbuster set to be released in Japan in March, 2009, it’s the biggest and most expensive movie Miike has ever made and it’s full of giant robots and bizarre mecha and it will rock your socks.

And don’t forget to visit the official Yatterman website!