Smash Cut

A movie mash-up that could happen, er, “Only In My Dreams” is ready to chomp up home theaters in the form of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. What’s it about? Read the title! Need to know more? It stars brooding, would-be tough guy Lorenzo Lamas, former pop wonder Deborah Gibson, and a slew of not-so-special-yet-thoroughly-enjoyable creature effects.

Don’t believe me? Feast on the tasty trailer below.

Scott Adkins. Who’s he, you ask? Well, he’s the Brit-born actor/martial artist who plays the monstrous Weapon XI at the end of last weekend’s box-office smash, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. (Nope, that wasn’t Ryan Reynolds.)

But if you ask me, the more unfettered (in name and narrative) Ninja will show off Adkins’s impressive skills much better than that Hollywood franchise. Made on an indie shoestring by fan-fave director Isaac Florentine, Ninja stars Adkins as Casey, a Westerner studying ninjutsu in Japan. His talents prove so formidable that he’s asked by his sensei to go to New York City to protect the legendary Yoroi Bitsu, a sacred armored chest that contains the weapons of the last Koga Ninja.

Ludicrous? A buncha baloney? Yeah, probably, but so was Wolverine, and this flick at least promises to be more action-packed and exciting. Don’t believe me? Then check out the trailer below.

Neill Blomkamp. Remember that name, people. Because in a few months, you’ll probably be seeing it everywhere.

Blomkamp is a filmmaker whose style tends to blend a kind of docu-realism with sci-fi elements. His 2005 short film, Alive in Joburg, about an eerie alien encounter in Johannesburg, South Africa, caught the attention of none other than the acclaimed Lord of the Rings trilogy helmer Peter Jackson. The latter was so impressed that he tapped Blomkamp to direct a live-action feature of the video game hit Halo, a project that eventually fell through.

No matter. Blomkamp’s new feature, District 9, a politically-charged “what if” tale in which alien visitors are forced into slum-like internment camps on Earth, promises to deliver a gritty blend of social allegory and sci-fi spectacle that few talents seem capable of pulling off these days.

District 9 is slated for release this August, but you can enter the film’s densely-imagined world via the vividly rich and detailed official website created for the film. And you can watch the knockout trailer for it below.

Hisss is the name of the newest film by Jennifer Lynch, a filmmaker who’s probably going to forever be known — much to her bemusement/annoyance/happiness/chagrin — as the daughter of David Lynch. Or, more unfortunately, as the mind behind the critically and commercially lambasted erotic thriller, 1993’s Boxing Helena.

That’s too bad, because Ms. Lynch seems to be blossoming into an interesting artist in her own right, and proof of that metamorphosis is the trailer for her latest effort, a sensuous Bollywood-styled horror/fantasy starring the ravishingly gorgeous Mallika Sherawat as a snake woman who’s able to take on human form and wreak havoc amongst mankind.

The Official Hisss Website doesn’t have much on it yet, but keep checking it for updates in the future. And take a look at the trailer here, thanks to the good folks at Twitch.

Having a bad day?

Maybe this will lift your spirits up.

“Noooooooo! NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”

Maybe you wouldn’t even want to, if the above one-sheet poster image is any indication.

One Eyed Monster, in case you must know, is a horror/comedy spoof that stars porn legend Ron Jeremy as an adult film star (gee, no stretch there) whose…uh…”member” (hinted at in the title, dontchaknow) ends up terrorizing the production’s cast and crew when it’s possessed by a nefarious alien presence.

Check out the not-particularly-safe-for-work trailer over at the Official One Eyed Monster Website. The film drops on DVD on April 28.

I guess this is almost like an artist going full circle.

Back in 1992, techno virtuoso Moby sampled a cue from the score for weirdmeister David Lynch’s cult smash TV series “Twin Peaks” in a hit club track entitled “Go”.

Now Lynch himself has collaborated with Moby by directing an animated music video for “Shot in the Back of the Head,” a song that appears on the latter’s forthcoming album Wait for Me.

The video might not immediately strike you as “Lynchian,” but stick with it: it’s still pretty cool. I mean, not many people make love stories about a man and a disembodied head.

Check it out below.

Oh-so-indie filmmaker Steven Soderbergh is back with another completely out-of-left-field opus. The Girlfriend Experience is his latest drama that promises to take us on an fictionalized but highly detailed inside look at the intimate escort/call girl “transaction” reflected in the movie’s title. The young lady providing said experience is played by none other than adult starlet Sasha Grey.

Check out the preview below.

Hey, I’m just reporting here, so don’t sue, okay? The trailer for the straight-to-video/DVD sci-fi rip-off actioner The Terminators has dropped, and while it may not have Christian Bale or a studio budget, it does have lotsa robots and big explosions!

Peep the preview below.

Ah, Twitch. You can always count on that site for the best updates, and this one’s no exception: an exclusive presentation of the first trailer for Samurai Princess.

I showed you the scorching one-sheet image above when I first  blogged about this destined-for-cult-classic-status, psychotronic Japanese actioner at the beginning of the month. The poster’s image of lead star/adult video actress Aino Kishi was probably enough to get your tongues wagging, but the preview delivers on many, many more levels, folks. We’re talking explosive breasts and scissor feet here.

Watch the trailer here on Twitch. You can visit the Official Samurai Princess Website for more details as they arrive.

“New Samurai is Born.” Indeed!